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Yesterdays Pain - Radman

  Author:  101  Category:(Interesting) Created:(5/13/2008 4:55:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (448 times)

Yesterdays Pain

 When I think of my father, how much I miss him and how much he meant to me, I weep silent tears while my heart screams into every corner of every empty day without him. My pain feels so strong it is hard to not want to be where he is and see him, hold him, and love him again.

  And yet, all of what I feel for him is a whisper in the darkness compared to how much I miss my mother. More than words, more than every pain that I have ever known. So deep is the longing to hold her again, to look into her old eyes and see the love she had for me and the smile on her face as she recalled me being her baby boy. She had seven children and each of us were filled with all the love she had for us.

 My wife, Ginger, is the world to me and I know that my love for her stems from all the love and compassion I had for my mother. Ginger brought into the world a baby girl for us to cherish and helped me become more than I could have ever been without both of them. Nothing else a man could ever do is worth more than a single moment as a father.

 Ginger is hurting so much now because she lost her mother a short time ago and her pain so deep and so immense it is hard for her to see any light in her soul. Her pain is my pain, her tears are my tears and I feel her heart breaking and nothing can heal that wound nor would she trade it for anything in the world.

 As I hold her tight, I feel her heart pounding in my chest. We are so close our tears flow together as they fall and we both die a little inside. All of the yesterdays seem to combine into a single moment where the pain of each lost love is compounded by the others and it feels like the end of the world.

Somehow, I know that together, we will walk into tomorrow and suffer but still love all the yesterdays we had.

 -Radman

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Replies:      
Date: 5/12/2008 2:02:00 PM  From Authorid: 61847    Oh George...  
Date: 5/12/2008 2:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 64365    This post was just so beautiful it brought me to tears. I feel yours and Gingers pain. I lost my mother in 1992, and the pain is just as raw as it was then when I go through a special day without her, or reach for the phone to call her (as I still do sometimes) when something wonderful and exciting happens, or something hurts me. I lost my Dad 4&1/2 years later, but the pain of losing him could not compare to the pain of losing her. My heart and my prayers are with you. May God give you strength and comfort to endure. God Bless you both. HUGS  
Date: 5/12/2008 2:36:00 PM  From Authorid: 63011    George, I'm sorry for yours and Ginger's losses. I know it must be hard at times. This is a beautiful post. My heart goes out to both of you.  
Date: 5/12/2008 2:37:00 PM  From Authorid: 53909    *hugs to you both*  
Date: 5/12/2008 2:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 31531    Big>>> Kasti Hugs >>>to the both of you.I feel the strenght of your love for each other is very strong.I am glad the two of you have each other.You are very blessed.  
Date: 5/12/2008 3:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 63241    I feel the pain in your words and my eyes fill with tears. Losing someone you love is a wound to the soul. "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted". Sending a heartfelt hug to you and Ginger right now. God Bless you both.  
Date: 5/12/2008 4:04:00 PM  From Authorid: 42945    OMGosh George *cries* you write so beautifully and have that wonderful way of being able to be such an inspiration to one and all. Yes, it is so hard to deal with the loss of our beloved parents at special times of the year, and it's not that we don't think of them all the time, we are so much more reminded on their special days, whether it be their birthdays, Christmas and like Mums and Dads Day of just how much we need them and would love for them to still be here with us to hold and hug, so we hold onto our lovely memories of them instead. My heart goes out to you both, I know the pain all too well...Thank you for sharing this wonderful post with us... *hugs*  
Date: 5/12/2008 4:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 30747    I feel both your pain. I lost my dad 10 years ago and nothing compairs to the emptiness of losing a parent. I'm beginning to see that emptiness will never go away but I take console in watching my son laugh (he has my fathers laugh) and I inherited his sense of humor. (thanks dad) There's a part of our mom and dad in all of us that will never die and that makes me smile through the tears. You and Ginger are so lucky to have each other but I don't need to tell you that. Keep the faith you two and know that we love you both.  
Date: 5/12/2008 4:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 3263    :(  
Date: 5/12/2008 4:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 15157    Dear Gingie n George...I feel the pain inyour words about Loved ones lost....I understand completely how painful...even the memories that we cherish can bring floods and floods of tears. The helplessness that comes into our bodies will always be there...It is because we never thought we would see the day that all this came to pass. I so miss my Mother too and part of my heart went with her when she left...as I know both of your hearts feel this way as well. We must Remember that one sweet day we will be reunited with them...and until then...live for them...for the love they showed you...((HugsMyDearFriends!))  
Date: 5/12/2008 5:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 21839    I am blessed to still have both of my parents & I treasure them like gold... I could never imagine the pain you are feeling, I know how the pain is with my brother & I know it is so much harder with parents & children. My heart goes out to you & Ginger, you have a special bond that is very hard to find. I know your parents are watching over you, their love for their children is so well known by the love you show to others.. God bless & hugs to you both...  
Date: 5/12/2008 5:47:00 PM  From Authorid: 27623    Radman, this brought tears to my eyes, infact, I'm bawling just reading this. It's so heartfelt and I can feel the pain both of you are going through. I'm so very sorry to hear of your sorrows, and I wish I could help. Just know that both of you are in my thoughts and prayers. The relationship between you and Ginger is a beautiful thing,very rare. Makes me yearn even more for what I can't have, but know it would be the same way! You two are truly blessed. I'm so happy you have each other. Love,  
Date: 5/12/2008 6:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 27534    Stay strong my friends....hold to good memories ...that is how we keep the lives of others alive within us.......much love to you both.  
Date: 5/12/2008 7:00:00 PM  From Authorid: 63725    (((((((((George and Ginger)))))))))  
Date: 5/12/2008 7:17:00 PM  From Authorid: 5301    ...that was very beautiful. Priss should add this to her hoard of jewels.  
Date: 5/12/2008 7:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    These days, I realize how really cool my mother and father were. I wish that I could have known them longer. Thanks for the good words, Radman. Write on......  
Date: 5/12/2008 7:32:00 PM  From Authorid: 64593    Wow. I am sorrry both of you have such awful pain in your hearts but so glad you have each other to hold onto. I wish you both the best. I'm so sorry. ---Teal Dreams---
Date: 5/12/2008 7:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 14780    I send you both healing thoughts and prayers.....  
Date: 5/12/2008 7:54:00 PM  From Authorid: 14314    ((((Hugs)))) to you both  
Date: 5/12/2008 8:22:00 PM  From Authorid: 27826    Oh, George. : ( I am so very sorry for your pain. I know it is a very rough time for you and Ginger. I am so glad that you two have eachother in these times of sorrow. You both are in my thoughts. Hugs X10000  
Date: 5/12/2008 9:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 53961    If everyone in the world could have a portion of that kind of love, what a better place the world would be in which to live.  
Date: 5/12/2008 9:36:00 PM  From Authorid: 28989    Very beautiful and sad, as beautiful things often are. But as Wise said, they are still alive in your hearts. I don't believe anyone really ever dies, but goes on to the next stage, whatever that is, and no one ever really leaves us, but stays in our hearts.  
Date: 5/12/2008 9:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 44960    *tears* (((Hugs Tightly))) *Spirit*  
Date: 5/12/2008 10:12:00 PM  From Authorid: 998    Awww Sweetie, as I shed my tears so mournfully yesterday, I knew your tears were for me .. and your departed loved ones too. They are never far from your thoughts and the love we have for them is always in our hearts. You wrote of your thoughts so beautifully in this hunny!!! *Hugsssss*  
Date: 5/12/2008 11:39:00 PM  From Authorid: 48250    **Hugs**....Take/Care  
Date: 5/13/2008 12:16:00 AM  From Authorid: 7830    My eyes fill with tears thinking of sweet Ginger in such pain, and you Radman so empathetic of her. I wish nothing more for the grief to end as much as it can. I know if my mother passed I would never fully get over it. You two are very blessed to have each other to help each other through your pain. Love you both.  
Date: 5/13/2008 4:33:00 AM  From Authorid: 53558    Awwww, George...big *hugs* to you and Ginger..  
Date: 5/13/2008 5:26:00 AM  From Authorid: 20296    I am so sorry to hear this. I know the loss of a parent.... iI will be sending all my rainbow vibes and pink bubbles i can ginger's way. please pass on what a wonderful woman she is...actually maybe I will write her.  
Date: 5/13/2008 6:18:00 AM  From Authorid: 64414    **wipes tears*** (((luv n hugs)))  
Date: 5/13/2008 6:25:00 AM  From Authorid: 56359    Much Love to the both of you.  
Date: 5/13/2008 7:23:00 AM  From Authorid: 15394    awww *sniff* no words :( I feel for you both...  
Date: 5/13/2008 7:39:00 AM  From Authorid: 21203    Wow! This is true love - every person involved in your life! You are a lucky man to have had and have this in your life - love so strong that is...illumy  
Date: 5/13/2008 8:07:00 AM  From Authorid: 61847    After the events of yesterday I have to say. You and Ginger are so in love. Truly meant for each other. *hugs*  
Date: 5/13/2008 4:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 63831    very nicely said radman; i know what you are going thru. you and ginger. i pray that you both find some light and happiness in the near future. God bless.  
Date: 5/13/2008 5:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 21764    *hugs*  
Date: 5/13/2008 7:47:00 PM  From Authorid: 51393    This is beautiful George,the heart felt you expressed in these words.((((((hugsyoubothtightly)))))))  

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