**I know, I know...long time, no post! won't happen again...scouts honor! ;)**
As Cordelia walked to campus from the parking lot the next day, her head still pounded. The 4 aspirin she had taken barely dulled the pain in her head. The day easily contrasted the previous night: the sky was clear of clouds; the sun swam in the wide, bright blue sky. The only evidence of the downpour from the previous evening was the mud puddles that still sat in many yards she passed on her trek to campus.
She couldn’t help but think about Jackson, about the guy he had become. It was as if she had known him in a completely different life time. Though, there was no denying that she herself had vastly changed as well. She still had her bad-girl attitude without any of her previous bad-girl habits to accompany. No more drinking and partying until the early morning hours. No more being so free with the men she met at bars, and no more DUI’s and theft convictions. She had led an uninhibited life many years ago. She knew what changed her, but she couldn’t help but wonder what life event it had taken to change Jackson into such a serious and respectable man.
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Cordelia rolled her eyes as she exited her stats class; why were underclassmen so annoyingly curious…the class always got out late because the same kid, a freshman, always had to play 20-questions with the professor.
She checked her watch and saw that she still had over an hour before she had to make it to her next class, so she decided to relax with a cup of coffee. She walked into the café on campus located on the bottom floor of the library and ordered an iced caramel coffee to take outside and enjoy in the warmth of the sun in the early spring morning.
She seated herself at one of the metal picnic tables outside the café and returned her earphones to her ears and turned up the volume on her ipod. She very much enjoyed people watching. Everyone’s mannerisms and social skills were always so entertaining. Watching the skater-boy try to grind down the rail on the stairs and take a spill, watching the young blonde throw herself at the quarterback of the football team, watching the artsy kids read their poetry to each other, or just watching the passers-by bob their heads as they jammed to their ipods; it was all quite entertaining.
She was lost in watching a pair of undergrads flirt mercilessly with each other when a shadow blotted out the bright sun. She turned to see Jackson standing above her saying something she couldn’t quite make out through the Eskobar song she was currently enjoying.
Cordelia removed her earphones, “What?” she asked smiling at his attempts to converse with her despite that she had earphones on.
“Oh, sorry, didn’t see the headphones; I was just wondering how you were feeling today,” he repeated, inviting himself to have a seat with her.
‘Apparently this isn’t as awkward for him as it is for me…” she thought as she raised an eyebrow, “uh…well, my head still hurts a little, but,” she shrugged, “I’ll live.” She sipped from her coffee as casually as she could, hoping that she didn’t look as awkward as she felt. She just didn’t know what to say to Jackson anymore; they were both so different now.
“Why don’t we catch up some?” he suggested, “it has been so long and I missed you while you were gone,” he seemed so genuinely concerned with reconnecting with his once best friend.
“I…I don’t know. I’m just trying to get through the rest of the semester and you have your own thing now,” she realized she must have made no sense or that she sounded completely uninterested when he rolled his eyes at her. “Look, I’m not saying lets go out and get crazy; and what do you mean I have my own ‘thing,’?” he inquired.
Cordelia tried to think about how to explain her statement, “you…your…you know, engaged and all. I’m sure you’re a busy guy with your graduate studies and…stuff.”
“So what if I’m engaged. I worried about you a lot while you were gone. It was like you literally vanished, I couldn’t help but think about you constantly.” He glanced down at his watch as the bells in the tower began to play yet another Beatles song, “It’s not like we didn’t have something back when…” “That was then. We are different people now.” She looked away, hoping that he would leave.
“Well let me get to know this new Delia then and you can get to know the new me. Come on, It's just coffee; we’ll go out tonight after you get out of class; Elle is working late so I’ll be so lonely.” He smiled that same smile that she remembered all those years ago, it nearly brought tears to her eyes; she had missed that smile so much.
“Jax…” she started; He immediately recognized that tone in her voice and raised his eyebrows at her, she sighed, realizing he was sucking her in. “uh…” she closed her eyes as she tried to make the snap decision, “fine. Coffee, tonight. I’ll just call you after class.”
“Great!” he said excited as he started to run off to his next class, “looking forward to it!” he called out over his shoulder.
She watched him run off and checked her watch again, still 40 minutes to go before her class started. She was so excited to be reconnecting with Jax. She thought about what he said, ‘it’s not like we didn’t have something back when…’ They had in fact had something. What had been a 2 year friendship had taken a sudden turn one weekend. She found herself falling for her best friend, which was scary enough in itself. She was never really sure if he had felt it or not like she had, which was why she had to do what she did; she didn’t think she could face him with the truth. She was afraid that, friends for over 2 years or not, he would not handle the news well and would push her away.
Cordelia sighed as she placed her chin on her hand. ‘What am I supposed to tell him if he asks why I left?’ she wondered to herself, ‘what if he asks why I was gone for so long? What am I going to tell him about the ‘new me’, that I’m certifiably crazy now?’ Her heart sank as she realized this coffee date could end up being a tragically horrible idea.
To Be Continued (yes...I WILL finish posting this!)
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