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'Moving on' from a relationship.

  Author:  49546  Category:(Discussion) Created:(7/23/2008 9:34:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (179 times)



I hope for this to be my last post about this topic in my life. I have written several, seeking advice, or just feedback/perspectives on the situation I 'was' in. I have actually decided a while ago, what I wanted to do. I had a small window of "hope" brought upon to me a few weeks ago (Written in my previous posts) and "he" never took it.

I guess the situation that he is in, even telling me the truth, giving me the reason for a six month dissapearance, he can't even tell me that.

What sort of 'soulmate' is this.

To give an overview in a nutshell. I fell in love, was happy, any ups, many downs, money issues, legal issues (regarding him), and I stupidly stood by his side, when he was continuously making mistakes. I'd thought, I stood by him, he will learn, he would want to change, he would want to better himself, for me.

I guess I was wrong. How can someone dissapear, time and time again, and expect me to still wait? I waited 3 months before. I waited 2 months before, and now recently waited 6 months. Yes, how foolish and stupid I "was". Waited, and again I'm waiting for a call, a reason.

I'm so ready to say it. I'm done waiting!

I'm done waiting just to get dissapointed again. I'm done waiting for someone who does nothing to change. I'm done waiting for someone who keeps breaking the law. I'm done waiting for someone who keeps draining me. Financially, emotionally. I'm done being naive and foolish and plain stupid with "love".

So yes, I am ready, to "move on". To think 3 years, maybe we've really been together...6 months, the rest was continuously him somewhere else. Why was I so stupid to keep waiting?

So really, it should be easy to move on from this relationship.

I'm not ready (at all) to "start seeing others".

I really felt, I really thought he was "the one".

Like I said, I guess in the future, I will no longer be so naive. I have learnt my lesson. The constant lies, the dissapearances, the nothingness.

And on top of it, I foolishly lent him a fair amount of money throughout those times. And because I was foolish, I'm out about 2K, which I know I will never get back. A broken heart, and a burnt pocket. I guess this is what people call "life lessons".

Moving on, Moving on.

USM - Thanks for the feedback you've given me throughout the year about this issue. I'm finally listening to you all, moving on! =)

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Replies:      
Date: 7/23/2008 9:40:00 PM  From Authorid: 61847    I understand about moving on. It is hard, and especially after someone you thought was "the one". Honestly, I would say good for you! And I understand the feeling that you are moving on, but not ready to date other people. Your heart has to heal, and when you stop looking for love, love has a funny way of finding you. *hugs*  
Date: 7/23/2008 9:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 48250    don't allow his stupidity to color Yopur other relationships....he's so not worth Your precious time---move on., chalk it up as an experience.....it will be better next time....~Best Wishes Always!!~---------T/C  
Date: 7/23/2008 9:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 48250    (( Your relationships, I meant ))  
Date: 7/23/2008 9:47:00 PM  From Authorid: 64123    One is never stupid for having faith and hope in someone. Take this relationship with you and learn from it, it takes you one step closer to knowing and finding what you truly want for yourself. Good luck *hugs*  
Date: 7/23/2008 9:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 60792    Just think though. If you wanted to be with the wrong one so much, imagine how great it will be when the right one finally does come along? It takes a lot of guts to let go though, so think of how strong you are.  
Date: 7/23/2008 9:59:00 PM  From Authorid: 64365    You were neither foolish nor stupid, sweetie. We don't choose love, love chooses us...and you loved and were sincere. You can't hold yourself responsible for believing in a lie until you willingly believe in it. HUGS  
Date: 7/23/2008 10:00:00 PM  From Authorid: 64365    knowingly and willingly  
Date: 7/23/2008 10:04:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 49546    Thanks! CheerGurl - yes love is funny. Ky - experience yes, painful, yes. AO - I totally agree, and I hope you also can move on and be strong too. Purple, Lorraine - much appreciate your comments. Nani - thanks, I know you've commented a lot on my posts. :)  
Date: 7/23/2008 10:15:00 PM  From Authorid: 42945    I wish you all the best hunny..you will find someone later who will treat you the way you should be...*hugs*  
Date: 7/23/2008 11:57:00 PM  From Authorid: 35720    You were never stupid. You were just the better person.. I'm glad you realize you deserve more.. good luck, hun. <3  
Date: 7/24/2008 6:27:00 AM  From Authorid: 57640    You were not stupid, you were in love, and you were blindsighted. It happens to all of us...in one way or another. You are a good person, a great girlfriend and friend, and he doesn't appreciate that. It'll hit him sooner or later what he's missing...and he'll try to come back...but don't let him. You deserve SO much better. You shouldn't be taken advantage like that...no one should. Sometimes the people that you love hurt you the most, and it really cuts you deep. Trust me, I have been there. You just have to keep your head high and move on. Don't think you won't find someone else either. You seem like a very nice person and I'm sure any guy would be lucky to have you. If you ever see him again, don't go back. He may seem like he's different, but most likely-he's not. People won't change unless they want to. No one can change them but themselves...that is probably the hardest thing to learn...but once you realize it you will be much better off. The best thing I suggest is giving yourself time to heal. Go out with friends, have fun, enjoy yourself. Don't waste time on him. Occupy your mind with something. Take a yoga class, go for a run, or paint, something that you enjoy. The more time you spend alone, the more you'll keep replaying what you think you did wrong,etc. It's healthiest just to slowly forget about him, but being alone won't solve anything. I'm not saying jump into a new relationship right this second, but just become more social. Time heals the heart. If you ever need to talk more in depth about this, feel free to send me a PM, and I know everyone who replied to this post would be more than happy to talk with you too... you are brave and strong and I am glad you finally realized that you needed to end things and move on. Best of luck. :)  
Date: 7/24/2008 8:20:00 AM  From Authorid: 14909    Well at least you learned something. I myself think it was worth $2000. It takes a long time to get an MBA in life.  

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