GOD FORGIVE ME! I'VE LOST MY GRACE!   Author: 491  Category:(Interesting) Created:(9/26/1999 7:49:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (1307 times) Well let me tell you how this all began. I went and stayed for a while with my sister and I started attending church with her and I got saved(thats another story, I will tell it some other time) and I was a strong believer in the many blessing of God. I finally moved back home and things were going great I was finally whole!! Then the bad began, Let me take the time to tell you why this situation would have made me lost my grace.. I had a cousin. She was 2 years of age and she was like a sister or more like my child. Me and this baby had a special relationship. i remember like it was yesterday this child went to church with my aunt and I came to church with my mom anyway when she saw me she came and climb in my lap and when they came to get her she cried to stay with me. That whole night she sat with me and hugged me! The next day she called me so I came to my aunts house to see her( her mother was coming to get her that day.) As I was leaving she came and hugged me goodbye. Well now I can get on with the story, two days later my mother came into my room and told me that my little cousin was in the hosipital. Why? Well her mother told the oersonnal that she fell down the stairs at the appartment complex. What? She is in intensive care, on life support. Both of her lungs have collapsed, they are trying to get them working. No!!! Her mother has now told the police that her boyfriend ( which was keeping her) was playing with her and she fell into the wall. What ? How was that possible? They are rushing her to J****** hospital. Why? One of her kidney's is functioning. So she going to be alright um... So I began to pray and hope. God want let anything happen to her. God will make it better,he always has. Mom I want to see her. I couldn't go... Then her mom changed the story again, he was wiping her and he knocked her into the wall.. the person next door heard her crying, then heard the thumb when she hit the wall. The boyfriend ran away.The person next door called the ambalance and police...later my mother came to my room and I had a bad feeling then I knew what she was going to say... My cousin was dead!!!!She was just a baby how could she be dead??? The report showwed that both her lungs and liver had collapsed, one of her legs was broke, she was mutilated, and had been sexually assaulted. The man that killed her was found hanging from a bridge. His report that he had died at the exact time as she!I should have felt relief and a sense of justice but somehow I didn't.why had God let this happen. Why didn't he make it better.I questioned God and lost my grace.I turned my heart from God and lost my belief. I didn't understand and lost my faith! How it changed my life: I went from happy to destructive. I stopped believing and every bad thing that could happen happened. My life was in shabbles, but I couldn't repent and make it better because my soul was scared and my faith was none. God forgive me! I've lost my grace! I don't know how to get it back. I don't even know if I am worthy to take it back! You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author: 491 ( Click here ) Spring is coming